Before I Was a Mother

My firstborn son recently turned eight and I spent some time thinking about how much has changed since I first became a mother.  There’s so much that I’ve learned, and perspective that I have gained.  Life before I was a mother was so different, and I wanted to write down the feelings I have looking back on that.

newborn with mother
Holding my first baby after getting home from the hospital. I was now a mother!

Before I Was a Mother

Before I was a mother, I didn’t know what real struggle was.
I didn’t understand sacrifice.
But I found the beauty of creation;
Of holding purity in your hands.

Before I was a mother, I didn’t know what worry was.
I didn’t understand much beyond myself.
But I found the healing power of laughter
That turns perspective upside-down in an instant.

ride with boy and mother
Taking our oldest two boys to Disneyland was a magical experience.

Before I was a mother, I didn’t know what pain was,
Because I didn’t know how much there was to lose.
But I found out that magic was real.
For it is found in the eyes of a child.

Before I was a mother, I didn’t know the true depths of exhaustion;
To be stretched so wide, so far, for so long.
But I found that the trials that stretched me 
made room for the joy that my children would bring.

Mother with husband and children
Our family today. Photo by Jess Graefe Photography.

 

 

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