“Working from home lets you be at home with your kids!”
“You get the best of both worlds!”
“You’ll have more flexibility and control over your schedule!”
These are some things you might hear if you’re a mom contemplating working from home. And it’s so easy to believe them. But being a work-at-home mom not that simple. I am grateful to have the chance to work at home, but there are some drawbacks to it. And people don’t often tell you about that side of working from home (especially if they are trying to get you to work for them). Here’s a few things to consider if you’re looking to make the jump to working at home.
You Never Leave Your Workplace
I remember when I worked full-time in an office how good it felt to walk out of my office building and leave all my cares behind. It’s not the same when you work from home. Even if you have a designated work space you can step away from, you are still essentially in your workplace 24/7. Which means sometimes when you are at “work,” you just want to walk into the other room and watch some TV. It requires a lot of discipline. Alternatively there are many evenings where I don’t feel like I am ever “away” from my work to-do list. It’s always hanging around in the back of my mind stressing me out. Because I always COULD be working on something on my “list.” It’s a difficult dance of switching back and forth between work and home.
People Don’t Understand Your Roles
Sometimes people expect you to be able to simultaneously fulfill requests like you are working full-time outside the home, AND/OR like you are a stay-at-home mom. Why can’t you help out at the kids’ school more often? Why can’t you do a lunch meeting today? Even if people know you work at home with your kids, not everyone fully grasps the demands that each one of those roles has.
It’s Very Difficult to Focus
This is probably my biggest struggle. As I’m typing this, my kids are running around in circles chasing each other and screaming, if that gives you an idea. It’s all fun and games when you have a child that naps and you can work during their nap. Naps are amazing. But what happens when your child stops napping? What about when you have multiple children, some or all of which do not nap? Especially during the summer. How do you make it work?
They say to set aside specific times for work, and to train your kids to leave you alone during that time. Anyone who has ever been a parent knows that things don’t always go according to plan. I try to set them up with quiet activities, Netflix, or tablets (don’t judge until you’ve been there). But inevitably they still need something and interrupt you. About 8,000 times. You have to constantly try to teach them that you need quiet time and learn to wait until you can help them. Which totally always works.
Kidding. What really happens is that they never leave me alone. They cry, they fight, they’re hungry. Even if they can take care of something themselves they still have that need to tell me everything. Usually very loudly. And because every time I’m interrupted it takes me a few minutes to refocus again, it gets extremely frustrating.
And I don’t want to feel frustrated.
I don’t want to tell them to be quiet and go away. But sometimes you just have to get things done. And it makes me feel guilty and sad. As much as I strive to keep work and home tasks separate, the truth is there will always be conflicting priorities and responsibilities.
What I’ve Learned
I don’t say this to discourage anyone from being a work-at-home mom, because honestly what I’m doing now has been one of the best opportunities I’ve come across in a long time. But what I do want to say is to go into it with realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations greatly escalate your frustration and set you up for failure. Don’t do that to yourself. Just know that things may take longer than you anticipate and that you’re going to have to adjust your plans and your schedule often. Simplify your life. It may take a while to figure out the best way for you to get work done and try to be present with your family. I still don’t feel like I’ve got it figured out! But things do get better, and eventually you will find your new normal. And that probably includes a housekeeper.
Just sayin’.
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It’s hard to focus! Yes! I sometimes head to the library just to get away from the piles of laundry!!