5 Questions Every Parent Should Be Asking Themselves About Teen Mental Health

Did you know that 20% of high school students have serious thoughts of suicide? As a parent, that makes me stop and think, and I came up with 5 questions we should be asking ourselves as parents about teen mental health.

According to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), the best way to help prevent a suicide-related crisis is to seek help and support before the crisis emerges. This is a sentiment I’ve shared before during National Suicide Prevention Month. It’s not just about sharing lifelines and knowing signs to look for—although that’s INCREDIBLY important—we also need to think deeper about what prevention really means, and what actually leads up to suicide.

It’s complicated and complex, and there’s not just one way to prevent it. You can do everything right as a parent or a friend, and it can still happen, but there are ways we can reduce the risk by focusing on teen mental health.

Please know that your efforts as a parent matter, and are extremely valuable, even if you can’t see it right now.

We need to take our teens’ mental health seriously and create a safe space for them in our homes where they can confide in us.

In the U.S., suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people ages 10-14 and among people ages 15-24. NAMI.org also shares the following statistic:

“1 in 10 high school students indicate they have attempted suicide. Most measures of suicidality in teens have increased over the last 10 years. Parents should know the warning signs, learn how to start a conversation and know what to do in a mental health crisis.”

It’s no secret that teens are under a lot of pressure these days. As we raise our children, we can build layers of protection and safety nets to help prepare them for the struggles they might face. Here are just a few things that I’ve gathered from my research that we can contemplate.

1. Are we modeling how to care for our own mental health?

Everyone knows that what kids see their parents DO is far more powerful than what they SAY. Are we taking care of ourselves? Are we addressing our own problems? Are we modeling healthy habits? And do our kids see and hear us doing these things (in age-appropriate ways)?

2. How do we speak about mental health topics?

What we say matters, too. What words and attitudes do we use to describe mental illness and mental health treatments? Do we frame getting help as a good thing…a STRENGTH? Or do we frame it as a last resort (failure)? Are we making fun of people in the news or dehumanizing them?

3. Are we direct, calm, & empathetic when discussing hard things?

Say the hard words. Suicide. Sex. Fentanyl. Abuse. Directly ask them about it. Let your children know you’re not afraid to talk about hard stuff. Don’t freak out when your kids tell you something upsetting.

THEY NEED TO KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Listen, ask questions, and show empathy even if you don’t understand.

4. Are we helping them develop a strong sense-of-self?

Personal identity is grounding. It can take time to develop this, but we can help them get started. What is unique and special about them? Do we encourage them to explore and express their needs and desires? Can we help them define their values? This can help lead them to finding purpose and meaning in life.

5. What safety nets do we have in place?

There is not one foolproof way to prevent suicide, so setting up safety nets is essential. Reduce access to weapons & ways your child could use to harm themselves. Monitor online activities. Give crisis hotline info to your teens and encourage social connections so they have people to reach out to, even if it’s not you. Give them every opportunity in every avenue to ask for help.

Share these resources with your teens and other parents:

📞 In a crisis? Contact Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call/text 988 anytime

NAMI Teen & Young Adult HelpLine (Monday-Friday): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264); Text “Friend” to 62640; Email at helpline@nami.org

Our attitudes about mental health are important. One of the most dangerous things we can do is think it won’t happen to us or our child.

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