There’s nothing like the power of a friend’s hug. Let me tell you a story.
“I need to talk to you,” I said in a message to my friend. I was spiraling after a tough afternoon and felt like my world was spinning out of control. I couldn’t stop crying.
I often hesitate to reach out when I’m struggling because I don’t want to be a burden and I don’t want everyone to see the ugly parts of me. I’m fine with sharing about my problems after the fact, but right in the middle of it, in my darkest places, I shrink away.
But not this time.
I drove over to her house. We went into one of the bedrooms in her house so her kids wouldn’t see me completely break down.
I sobbed. And sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. She hugged me tight and I collapsed in her arms. I let out my ugly cry. You know the one. The crying where your whole body moves and your chest rises and falls rapidly as you make uncontrollable sounds while gasping for breath. Your mouth is stretched open in an unnaturally large gape.
My cries didn’t sound like me. They were almost animal-like.
“I have thoughts about driving my car into oncoming traffic. Why is this the first place my thoughts go when I get upset? WHY?! Why can’t I just be normal? I try, and try, and try, and I’m still like this. I’m never going to get any better.”
I dissolved into more cries and I melted down towards the floor. My friend, still embracing me, sat down with me.
“I don’t know,” she said. “But you’re loved.”
I didn’t need anyone to solve my problems or give me advice. I just needed someone to be there. And she was that someone.
Could I have survived without that hug? Yes. But the comfort a hug like that can bring is indescribable. It’s a silent conversation happening simultaneously with whatever words are being said.
The tightness of her hug said she knew how deeply I was hurting. The length of her hug said she wasn’t going anywhere. The way she sat with me but didn’t let go told me she’d always sit with me in the dark. THAT is the power of a friend’s hug. It says and means so much.
This happened several years ago, but I’ll never forget it. I don’t break down COMPLETELY in front of very many people. But she let me know she was a safe place. Everyone deserves a friend like her.
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